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Michael Scott, Thomas Smith and World Suicide Prevention Day 2015

Water resistant to a depth
Of 1000 tears

Insane
clinical fact
not word
you and the white coated girl said
on my birthday
when you gave me the watch
that marked my madhouse minutes

surgical silver surrounded
a nervous wrist tick
covering cuts not wounds
my mental giblets bulging
at each twenty five hour
tock throb of a locked ward day
punctuated only by the medicine cart
and its punctual pill push

escape came long wrists later
to another place with an unlocked door
but no way out

I took your timepiece
and hung it from the ceiling
thinking maybe it was time I joined it

but never did

ripping it triumphantly from the artex
on my final day there
dried out and free I clocked out
without you
and went to Paris
where hunched on a bridge
round the back of Notre Dame
I launched your watch into the river

dark droplets pitched back
as ripples pulsed along
a dying wave

below the surface
a stopped face dulls
and second hand
tremors tremble unseen
deeply in Seine.

Michael Scottis a poet and Creative Writing Tutor from Swindon. He has been published by The Morning Star, Ink Sweat and Tears, And Other Poems and The Interpreter’s House. Michael spent six months in rehab in 1999/2000 and has since delivered many workshops to others in mental health and addiction settings. He is a Koestler Trust Arts Mentor and founder of the Swindon Festival of Poetry.

That Night

Two years ago I hit a new low
Ironically five stories up
Looking over the edge
I had read that five was the magic number
I do not buy that suicide is cowardly
The police shut down the roads
The security guards are first to leave
A street bobby is next, another kind soul
But my soul is not kind to itself
It is not self-pity but self-recrimination
That causes me to walk up the piss
Stained stairs of the car park

I didn’t know you then,
But you were stuck by the roadblock
Freezing cold without a coat

My heart was stone
A lumpen rock that pretends to beat
Pretends to feel more than self-hate
I didn’t know you then, but I know you now

We have fucked, and made love and slept together
You have stroked the forehead I had imagined
Cracked and broken

Your kisses heal me
I will break again, but I will heal
I didn’t know you then but I do now

Thomas Smith

My first novel is in postproduction and is due to be published before the end of this year (2015) by Baxter Daniels Ink Press, under the title “The Crazy Side of Normal” under my pen name of Tom Sinclair. It is a small American publishing house so the book will be available with a limited distribution on the west coast of America and via online – worldwide.

I have a small online presence including my Twitter and Audioboom handle Poetofbeard, which I use to publish my Poetry and Spoken word pieces, in both written and audio formats.

samaritans

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1 thought on “Michael Scott, Thomas Smith and World Suicide Prevention Day 2015”

  1. Thank you for introducing me to the work of Michael & Thomas. Both poems are vivid and show ways to carry on and the connections between people. I also watched the interesting video.

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