Desire by Sandra Tappenden


‘The widow wants only to speak to the dead one, to sustain and preserve him’ Sandra M. Gilbert

No more Minions
for you and me I thought
in the shadow of Caradon Hill
in the car going to register your death

no more wincing at ‘Cheesewring’
no more hoofing round the Hurlers
no more hand outstretched
to hoist me up slippery slopes

no more uphill ‘push push push’
in your Ganges instructor voice
no more lone black sheep
surprised beside the old mine

or pony with hanging dong or wind song
in the transmitter`s wires
no more photos of you on top of the world
or ‘Cheers’ with tea-filled travel mugs

no more gentlemanly turned back as I
peed behind rocks unable to master
the Shewee you bought as a gift
no more striding out together

no more walking talks about
sex and death and absurdity
no more getting lost in each other
no more Minions for us

I trust that two foot long
luminous phallus we stumbled upon
in the bitter cold scrub
is still out there

Gilbert, S.M., (2006), Death`s Door: Modern Dying and the Ways We Grieve, New York: Norton, p.37


Sandra Tappenden is the author of poetry collections ‘Speed’ (Salt, 2007), and ‘Bags of Mostly Water’ (Original plus, 2003). She has written reviews, performed in an improv outfit called Juice, and had work in anthologies such as ‘Identity Parade’ (Bloodaxe, 2010), and ‘From Hepworth`s Garden Out’ (Shearsman, 2010). She once interviewed Marina Warner at Ways with Words and was terrified. Currently working on her dissertation for an English and Creative Writing BA at Plymouth University.

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